#i'm gonna try not to post anything else along these lines

[pyjamaart]

Every time someone complains about Fully Charged Airmans design, my love for him grows even stronger.

I feel like most people are mad that he isn't blue. Like back in 2014 when people complained that Sonics arms were blue in Sonic Boom. But I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal.

But if you see Fully Charged as an alternate universe to the classic series (which it is), then I don't really get why you'd have to complain about Airman not being blue. I think it's good they tried something fresh with the robot masters. They didn't have that much personality in the classic series, to be honest, compared to Fully Charged. I just think he needed a little more screen time to focus on his character. Just like many other robot masters on this show.

Okay, I have to admit, I did change around his colors a bit for a joke that would have gone along the lines of "Just hire fans, lol", but it actually ended up looking pretty cool, so I can't really make that joke anymore……. Really shot myself in the foot with that one. Anyway, here's blue Airman:

I still think that an episode featuring an air race would have been really really cool. They could have introduced a robot master like Gyroman as his rival. Maybe losing that race could have been the start of his character arc where he finally confronts his inferiority/superiority complex. Along the lines of "Flying is all I have left! If I can't have that, what else am I supposed to do?" Well, now that we're already in headcanon territory, I might as well tell you about all my other ones involving Airman. I believe his family is suuuuper rich. All his siblings have well respected careers and probably make his parents buckets of money. Meanwhile Airman is like the youngest sibling who dreamed of becoming a professional racer, which his parents didn't support at all. Kinda reminds me of another robot master under Lord Obsidians command whose dreams were crushed by his parents......

And as we've seen in that one episode, Airmans siblings are assholes. They just pretend he doesn't exist, like he never belonged to their family at all. Like they're ashamed that he's such a failure.

Oh damn that got dark again, sorry. But just like Drillman, he gets better in the end. While Drillman gets Woodman to look out for him, I've had the headcanon for a while that Airman gets taken in by Blastowoman, since she's also a flying robot master like him. Maybe she even gets him a job as a cargo bot alongside herself. I feel like he really needs someone supportive who's not afraid to call him out on his bullshit in his life. And because I have another headcanon that Blastowoman actually has an adult child (Blastman, lol), she's like the perfect woman for the job. ;)

Coming back to Airmans design, I did change some things about it for this particular piece of fan art. When I was trying to come up with an awesome pose to draw him in, the first thought I had was "Damn, I gotta give this man some heels." And that's exactly what I drew.

Sorry for not posting anything for 2 months btw. I got addicted to Metaphor ReFantazio ;) If that doesn't become game of the year, I'm gonna be real mad.

Jenny out.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

I finally had time to make proper designs for the Trio!

Redson: Ver 1

Ver 2

I couldn't decide on if I liked it better with the braids or not so I just posted both, but anyways!

I gotta admit, I used to not like the idea of redson having Bull features (except for a small pair of horn maybe) but the concept really grew on me and now I really love it and wanted to try making my own design and I'm really proud with how it turned out.

I would've added more scars, since Guanyins throne pierced his entire body, but there came a point where it just looked like there was too much going on so I had to get rid of a few scars to tone it down, so we're just gonna say they faded over time, okay? Okay.

I also made him Miao (one of the largest ethnic minorities in southwest China) on PIF's side, and Mongolian on DBK's.

The Miao ethnicity of China has a long history, rich culture, and an ancient folk religion. Adorned in beautiful traditional clothes, possessing natural talent for singing and dancing, they live in uniquely designed indigenous architecture, which I think fits perfectly with how I imagined Princess Iron Fan and with her; Redson.

As for DBK being Mongolian, I saw someone else talking about this headcanon and I just liked it so I decided to use it, I don't really have a specific reason for it, I just thought it fit, not sure why though, it's just one of those things that makes sense even if you don't know why, you know?

Mei:

I made her taller and gave her a long dragon tail (like really long, it drags along the floor if she's not holding it up), though her scales are pretty much everywhere across her body they're most noticeable on her shoulders, thighs, and face (they're a bit hard to see in this photo because they're kinda hidden behind her hair, but I did give her scales beside her eyes)

I also gave her horns these little spiral designs around them, gave her sharper nails, and designed her ears to look like coral, since she's a water dragon and I thought they looked cool.

Honestly idk what else to say about her design, I didn't have anything specific in mind when designing her, I kinda just had to wing it, but I'm happy with how it turned out :)

(I also made her Bengali, on her dad's side, but it's not really important or has any reason behind it, just a headcanon I've had for a while, don't know where it came from though)

MK:

Alot of people have speculated that the monkey form we see during the fight against Azure in season 4 isn't MK's full form yet, that we're just seeing a fraction of what he's yet to become, based on the fact that while he has the weird side burns, the tail and the face marking, he also lacks a natural skin tone, they didn't give him a proper nose etc, so I wanted to play with the idea.

I decided to make him this strange mix between human and monkey, leaving him pretty much human with the addition of his tail(s), and weird li'l monkey feet.

(I was also gonna give MK more arm/leg hair, it was in my first sketch, but I forgot to add them when I was doing the line art and didn't realize until after I saved it as a jpeg, so that's my bad, but I'm gonna add it in to any other art I make)

It's also a bit hard to see in this, but I designed his staff with more details, specifically adding dragon-esque imagery to the Golden ends, this is because (for anyone who's new to the fandom/hasn't read JTTW) Wukong's staff was originally one of the several pillars that held up the sea in the dragon palace, until he stole it and shrunk it down to use as his weapon.

I also did MK's clones :)

Porty MK:

I gave him stripes of coloured hair and gave his tails all different colours, though I don't think he would actually dye it, instead I like to think that he would use that really crappy dollar store spray in hair dye (or hair chalk). I kept the fishnet clothes that I added in my originally design of him for my headcanons post, and decided to give him striped elbow length fingerless gloves.

I also gave him a cropped shirt, ripped shorts and these weird fingerless glove-esque shoes for convenience, since regular shows seem like they would be uncomfortable.

Edit: my dumbass forgot Porty's stupid print jacket 😭

Artist MK:

For Artist MK I gave him overalls and a jacket over it, which he wears specifically for when he's doing paintings so he doesn't ruin too many of his actual clothes (I know I said that this was inspod by Circusapple, which it still is, but this is almost exactly what I wear when I'm painting too, just in different colours).

I also gave him those gloves that digital artists wear so they're hands don't accidently trigger something on the screen because everyone knows that every artist just walks around with their art glove on even when it's not necessary.

Delivery MK:

I have to admit, I was never a big fan of MK's work uniform just being his regular clothes with a work jacket thrown over it so I wanted to try and make him look a little more professional and decided to instead give him a chef coat (similar to the one Pigsy wears on the show as well), with a logo for the restaurant on the chest, along with it I gave him plain black pants, since casual red jeans didn't seem very professional (I know he's just a delivery person, but if you were to look at pretty much any food corporation, even people who do deliveries have to wear uniform, so it's always been kinda strange to me that he's just in regular clothes). 

The shoes were harder to make professional given the whole "half-monkey" thing so I opted to give him the same strange fingerless glove-esque shoes for comfort and convenience, but made them plain black as well.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write hcs for how everyone would be at a carnival?? Thank you<3

The Best of All Amenities (All x MC/Reader - Carnival/Amusement Park HCs)

I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS >:D

Hello my beloved Anon, I hope you have an awesome day/night! <33 Thanks for letting me write this for you, and I'm sorry for the extreme lateness of this. I'm on my knees right now forgive me Anon raaaa.

Btw I'm getting back into the habit of writing so cut me some slack for this one. I'm also not experienced with carnivals at all so I apologise for potential inaccuracies my dear. </33

Post-Completion A/N: I just realised this said carnival instead of fucking amusement park I'm so done. I tried to make it work for both I'm sorry Anonnie. i'm sorry but have this anywayy because i've never been to a carnival and don't know what the hell goes on there and also I am kinda silly and if this is inaccurate I apologise

T.W.: Mentions of vomiting.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Amenities: something that helps to provide comfort, convenience, or enjoyment. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Brittney is a walking carnival let's be real.

Like her hair screams classic circus-tent except the white and red is pink and blue.

Would get cotton candy and judgmentally eat it while surveying the rides.

Y'all would be going around looking at everything.

She's probably gonna try to not get on anything because she's shitting herself at the thought of getting on a coaster frfr "not bothered".

Will carry iced coffee around, she somehow has an endless surplus of coffee. It's genuinely terrifying.

You both will wander around and gossip, along with judging the outfits of everyone else like it's a fashion strip.

Will get angry af if the line takes too long.

Will get on at least 1 ride out of spite, ends up almost vomiting. "Never again."

Y'all are paparazzi tho like shit's crazy with how many photos you both take of each other. shame it ain't the kinky kind

Deryl would go berserk. Like this boy will literally lose his marbles from joy.

If you invite him to any gathering, amusement park, carnival (hell any park at all), this boy will be dragging you everywhere.

Indecisive about where to go.

Very indecisive about what to eat. he'll harass you for food teehee

Is the type to get really excited about rollercoasters, until it's your turns to go on one.

In that case he'll start panicking.

You'll have to convince him he's not gonna die.

Will be quaking in his boots from fear.

Don't worry he gets on the ride anyway. Especially if he gets one from you after.

Will just be having a blast despite the terror tbh.

Will not go into any haunted house tho.

Like he will sprint out of there.

You'll have to run after him so he won't get lost lmfao.

Will expect emotional support from you after.

You both have a massive ton of fun tho prepare for more bedroom edition fun later.

Jess will be sceptical.

Don't get her wrong, she'd love to go.

But she's shy and a massive homebody.

and can't socialise to save her life

When you both get there, she'll be overwhelmed by the amount of people.

Sorry broski you're gonna have to do the talking.

Will be scared af of the rides, will clutch onto you for dear life.

May be the type to silently vanish and reappear because she's a midget often caught up in staring at venues and looking at things.

Will be the type to just cling to you tbh

She's either glued to you or unstick so hard and fast she'll teleport to the other side of the planet.

You'll probs take photos tbh, she does have an internet influence.

Y'all will be discussing each others' fav idols and celebs over desserts.

And of course loving each other's company and hopefully bodies.

Crowe will be happy to go wherever with you.

So he'll def be willing to do anything at this entertainment complex.

Yáll are probs gonna grab some snacks and take more mellow rides tbh.

He doesn't seem the type to like really violent ones.

Will probably be the type to just observe you go on a ride.

Will also take photos. He wants to admire you remember this day. <33

Will hold your drinks as well.

Will just serve as your porter and server let's be real.

He'll def go on the more chill rides tho.

Will even let his hair down to feel the wind. >:]

and also so you can pull it ngh

10/10 hair pulling sesh would do again yeehaw

You both have an epic day together. Time for an even sexier night

Hyugo would have already been dragging you places.

So when he stumbles upon the existence of this place, you bet he's taking you there.

Y'all are gonna be fucking parading around.

He's gonna just *point* somewhere and you're going.

Like it's not even a question or a debate.

He'll have a maniacal grin on his face while doing it too.

i'm scared send help

shawty getting a tad cray cray here

You're going on a ride hehe and he's gonna stare ahead very intently, grip the steel bar and have a very spoopy grin on his face.

Has a blast.

Y'all go everywhere, you make time for everything.

He'll shoot people in the line to make sure you have time teehee

y'all wont get arrested cause his daddy's got money

Oh. And candy.

You both eat all the candy.

You both also spend like 2 hours vomiting because of how much candy you had.

10/10 would puke guts out again.

But you both genuinely just have a blast. Shame it ain't a blast of smth white and sticky.

Geo will spawn at the venue with the most monotone expression ever. he's still shocked you invited him teehee

Will recoil at the sight of the massive crowds, will probably drag you off somewhere quieter.

Alas there aren't that many 'quiet' places to go to, so he'll grow to tolerate it (because of you and only you).

Will be the type to order food that he knows you like felt like getting, gives it to you anyway.

Will not be caught dead going on a ride, the screaming irritates him too much.

Unless you beg enough, then he'll do one of his choosing. (it's the most violent one because he wants you to stop calling him a scaredy-cat).

Will be dead silent the whole time, gets off unfazed AF (he'll be hiding his nausea dwdw).

Will also probably hide his face because...his influence, his reputation, (his beautiful sexy face), the fucking paparazzi.

Will probably try to make you go somewhere else with him after, like a cafe or smth, somewhere 'peaceful'.

Does enjoy himself though, will probably not admit it due to...pride.

Only thing is; nowhere's more peaceful than your bed teehee

Sol literally will be squealing with joy if you ask him to go anywhere with you.

This man is too down bad to live.

May or may not buy ice cream so he can watch you sensually lick it.

This bastard will 110% enter any form of haunted house just to see if you'd (hopefully) cling to him.

Will end up clutching your hand either way. <333

Everything is on him, like. E v e r y t h i n g. even you!!

You can't pay for anything, 'tis illegal.

Will be the type to just sit on a ride and hold back a smile because he's not bothered to scream like everyone else (he hates it when people do that, will probs wear headphones for the noise), so he'll just sit there and quietly rejoice.

Will bring his own food beforehand, in case you both don't wanna spend money on the stupidly expensive food there.

Is genuinely happy af tho, this guy will do whatever you want, win whatever you want.

Also will threaten people to move out of the line if they're holding it up or something.

Has no shame.

And that's okay.

Because the shameful things he does in the bedroom is more than enough to balance it out. ;)

You both have a banger time tho. *claps approvingly*

[impactrueno]

(thread i posted on twitter copypaste)

i think musical bj and lydia have the most interesting dynamic of the three…they go toe to toe, seem to be in perfect sync without even trying, she managed to turn his marriage threat on its head by tricking HIM back, and then a mini redemption arc? we love to see it but this also means it's hard for me to think of interesting things for them, because they already said everything that needed to be said in the musical. perfect closure too. what else is there even to tell?

thinking about this again since i've been rewatching the musical over and over. the emotional resolution and closure they had was so satisfying after offering what is probably the best (subjectively) and most balanced (objectively) dynamic of the three iterations

over at tumblr i've been talking about how cartoon bj and lydia's friendship isn't as perfect as it seems, especially in the later episodes. it's so sad to see but i'm also invested in their potential downfall and how that would go down…it's interesting to think about

but hey at least they're not movie bj and lydia lol. what….a mess of a dynamic those two have now with the sequel. it could've been handled so much better. they obviously wanted us to root for bj a little in this one, but the cool things he does amount to nothing, pretty much.

feels weird sympathizing with THIS beetleguy of all three but wow not even a reluctant "thanks i guess" or anything? idk feels like something was missing there. just one of the many things that feel like they're setting up for a third installment

thinking so hard about this because when i write them i gotta think about their motivations, feelings and why they feel that way, etc and bj saving astrid's life and exposing rory as a fraud and abuser (in an incredibly satisfying way) definitely tipped the scales in his favor.

so i'm still figuring out how lydia would feel about all that. i have this scene stuck in my head of her and astrid talking about bj. and astrid, who's really only seen him do good things, goes "…really mom?" and now i'm going "welp she's kinda got a point, lydia" NOW WHAT.

if i were in her shoes, me personally, that would've won me over or at the VERY least i would've forgiven him since he made up for the bad stuff. and i keep seeing people who feel the same way… then again, the ending does show he's still messing with her so idk. mixed feelings

trying my hardest to work with what canon gave us if you couldn't tell lol. sloppy as it was. i will try to make sense of it so i can do my stupid little comics

i guess at least she let him down easy lmao. as sarcastic her "look i'm sorry things didn't work out between us but the 600 year gap is a little much for me" line was. but he's not gonna give up that easily, is he? of course not. he's beetlejuice. he's gonna be annoying forever.

none of this would be such an issue if they had given them more screentime together to let their dynamic cook a bit and actually see how they get along 😑 hmph

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk im done now

[hopelessdazai]

hi hello can i request head canons for dazai, chuuya and fyodor with a f!reader who's secretly very kinky but shy about asking for stuff during sex? but she's very eager when they start making out and they kinda tease her for it. thank youu i love your work

I'm sorry I took a while, but I hope you enjoy!! I hope I understood the prompt correctly too, ehe.

Their little shysexual

contents ; MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE READ. dazai x reader, chuuya x reader, fyodor x reader, condecendingness, begging, bondage, reader is fembodied, overstimulation, roughness, praise if you squint, humiliation.

Dazai Osamu -

hes pretending he has no idea what you want. until you're begging for it or growing past that shyness, good luck getting much from him!!

he'll probably use it to his advantage, overstimulating you with all the dirty words he's picked up and claiming you want them, even as you become a flustered mess.

he'll feed into your eagerness. he wants you grinding against his thigh and moaning into his mouth as he makes out with you, its the biggest turn on to encourage the both of you.

he can be a little teasingly condescending with it at times, as I'll say with the rest of my posts, its okay. you can slap him.

he'll tease you more when he's actually fucking you. especially if you've managed to get out a kink you wanna try or anything on those lines. he won't miss a beat to tenderly mock you for it.

he overuses what you manage to ask for, but in a good way. if you ask to be tied up all limbs are bound to the bed and until you say a safeword or he gets tired he won't be done with you.

Chuuya Nakahara -

God that man is going to tease you so bad. its a drabble of things along the lines of, "Oh, poor baby.. you're so needy, be a good girl and tell me what you want, yeah?"

its probably an ego boost and ego lower to him somehow. he'll see you nervous to ask for things and think its cute you're worried about asking, but then he second guesses himself and isn't sure if he's doing something wrong.

either way, he'll happily feed into your desires. if you manage to get anything out, to ask him to do anything, he's doing it immediately and to the best of his ability to get at least 2 orgasms from it.

he'll encourage you to try and get it out. he's very patient, as much as he's balls deep ans you can barely think straight, he'll politely ask where you want to guide him to.

he doesn't mean to laugh, but he just finds it so funny that you're so shy and yet so full of different desires and wants.

if you whisper it out, he'll probably be trying to get you to say it louder again, just because his ears couldn't pick up on your poor little begs. and he'll do anything to get you to repeat yourself if you refuse. use it to your advantage, :)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky -

he doesn't mean to be as cruel and rough as he's being, even as he teases you for not being able to say what you want while overstimulating you beyond belief.

hes gonna get you to try and babble it out while he's still inside and fucking you, he's a busy man and even if his baby wants something, he has his own pleasure to fill. so she better hurry.

fyodor enjoys the sight of your fucked out face still begging for more while he's being rough. if you manage to mumble what you want, then he'll be using that to his advantage until you want something else.

no moment to spare to even think. he won't let you. he thinks he can get you to a place you're so greedy for pleasure after being pounded so well that you'll blabber out whatever you want him to do to you easily.

hes pretending he didn't hear you sometimes. a small part of him wants to humiliate you into having to yell for it over and over again, it's a turn on for him.

he speaks softly to you, even while he's pleasuring you so rough you can barely breath. what does his sweet darling want?

God this is so messy I'm so sorry 😭😭

okay so a quick mention because this is sorta important, nobody actually sees my regular posts I don't think so I'll put it at the bottom here so people are more likely to read it.

please before you ask read the introductory post I have linked on my masterlist. please check the askbox status before you ask for more things for me to write.

I do really enjoy writing these things, but with school a day away for me and with watching my askbox fill up, it's indirectly stressful? so in this moment of time for uploading, I just wanna say clearly that my requests are closed.

the only requests I will freely take in this moment are comfort headcanons / maybe posts, ( eg you're having a hard time and want some comfort from my writing ) and little messages written to me.

I WILL get around to all the requests in due time but currently my life is a little hectic.

any posts you're dying to request, please at least be known that there'll be a little wait time. I don't usually do the oldest posts until I feel too guilty about leaving them, and I'll do the easiest / more fun for me first because of my current health.

that being said, if you're considerate about it, I dont mind if you do ask something that isn't what I listed below, just try not to be demanding af about it

this was a long message TLDR ;

requests are closed and only comfort writings if you're going through hard times are available.

I'm having a stressful time recently so some asks may take a while.

read my introductory post

- zai

[thefreakandthehair]

✨ first line tag game ✨

tagged by @fastcardotmp3 @fragilecapric0rnn @withacapitalp and @stevethehairington!! thanks besties! <33

RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions

1) just an only child of the universe.

Contrary to popular belief, life hasn’t always been the kindest to Steve Harrington.

2) goin' to california.

All Steve wants to do is see the ocean.

3) sugar, we're goin' down.

When Eddie was a little kid, Uncle Wayne used to tell him: be careful what you wish for, because it might come true. 

4) blue hour.

Some wounds just don’t heal.

5) butter, sugar, and northern mockingbirds.

The scent of warm chocolate and brown sugar wafts through the tiny kitchen of the Munson’s new government-issued two-bedroom house, coating its peach walls and formica countertops with familiar, homey sweetness.

6) cassette tapes and ticket stubs.

He doesn’t even know the other guy’s name.

7) been on fire, dreaming of you.

No one tells Eddie Munson anything. 

8) what's mine is yours (to leave or take)

In the center of a small town only a few thousand people call home sits an even smaller diner with aluminum siding and checkered floors.

9) rounding third, sliding home.

Hawkins, Indiana. Population: 10,013.

10) never been afraid of any deviation.

It’s 1985 and the boys bathroom smells like weed.

conclusions: I have no idea, other than I never start a fic with dialogue apparently? (also, maybe it's cheating but I skipped my ficlets/drabbles because they aren't on ao3 and I'm not gonna cross-reference dates with my tag here and ao3 works to see my last ten across both platforms lmao 💀)

no pressure tags (I only know who was tagged along with me and even that, I didn't keep great track of so sorry for repeats!): @starrystevie @hotluncheddie @steveseddie @hbyrde36 @maxinemaxmayfield

@lihhelsing @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @steddieas-shegoes @steddieasitgoes @starryeyedjanai

@stervrucht @cuoredimuschio @eyesofshinigami @sp0o0kylights @shares-a-vest + anyone else who wants to hop in!

[theosphobia]

Hello rvbblr, rvb tumblr, the 3 people always liking my posts.

I bring my first ever fanfiction. and its rvb. idk how ao3 works so im just gonna drop it in here and hope thats accceptable.... erm... anyways

Everyone got seperated; the reds and blues were scattered in a pirate stronghold. Their long range comms were down and pirates lurked around every corner trying to hunt the sim troopers down.

Washington had just survived a scuffle, breaking into a run as he heard familiar shouting not too far off. Just around a couple shipping containers, Wash found Caboose standing over a pirate, Freckles' barrel smoking from fresh fire.

The blue caught the solider in the side of his vision and raised the ai-assisted rifle towards him, confetti dispersed from the gun.

"Friendly Signature Detected."

"Agent Washington! Uhm, he was like that when I got here."

Wash pushed the thought of Caboose firing at him away, he was just glad to see a friendly face.

"Caboose! Have you seen anyone else?" Wash asked, jogging up to the larger character.

Caboose looked back down at the pirate he was resting his foot on,

"On our team Caboose."

"Oh! No." Caboose shook his head and moved away from the body, sizing up to Wash.

"Are you doing okay? You hurt anywhere?" Wash started to walk and the other followed closely.

"I'm a little stressed out... and hungry.." he started. "We should find Griff next!"

Wash chuckled and patted Caboose on the back, "Hey Freckles?" The gun chimed in response, "can you find any other friendly contacts?"

"Nearest Friendly Tag is 356m away. Identification: Lavernius Tucker."

"Awesome, Can you guide us to him?" Wash asked. The custom laser sight on the rifle turned on and pointed forward. Caboose stared curiously, turning the gun from side to side, the line remained aimed toward its original path. Caboose gave a coo of amazement.

"Lets get going, the sooner we find the others the better."

--

Wash and Caboose followed Freckles' guide until they hit a large pond in the cave; they could see the remainder of the pirate stronghold on the otherside, but the water seemed to stretch to the walls, and they couldn't see the bottom. The laser ran true straight across the water.

Washington stopped for a moment to think while Caboose took a couple steps into the pond.

"I saw something over here! It might be those sim troopers!"

A voiced called from not too far away. Wash cursed to himself, a group of red dots were moving towards them on his motion tracker.

"Maybe they know how we can get across!" Caboose cheered, turning around towards the noise and started walking. Wash caught him by the arm,

"Caboose no they're trying to kill us remember?"

"Oh yeah.."

"There's no time, we're just gonna have to go through it." Wash sighed, leading the blue giant back towards the water and stepping in.

"Uhm I can't swim very well.." Caboose started, standing a bit back from Wash.

"We're not swimming, our suits will recycle air for a while, we should just be able to walk along the bottom." Washington informed him. The other man didn't argue, stashed Freckles, and followed along, both of the started to move as fast as they could in half-ton armour in water as the shouting grew louder.

They were fully submerged for a while before Wash started to notice something wrong, he was wet.

"Uh 'boose.... buddy, not to scare you or anything but I think my armour is filling up with water." Wash could feel a cut in his kevlar around his neck. He must have gotten it in that fight earlier.

"Wuh oh.." Caboose had stopped and turned to look at Wash, somehow he had managed to be moving faster than the freelancer. "Should we go back?" There was a tinge of panic in his voice.

"We can't... we just have to move faster, it can't be that much farther now" He tried holding his hand to seal the hole but water still managed to seep through his fingers, the water was hitting his waist now.

Caboose nodded and reached back, grabbing Wash's free hand, and started pulling him along so their treck sped up.

At some point, the weight behind him stalled.

"Agent Washington?"

"It's in my helmet."

Wash couldn't see, but Caboose's eyes widened. He moved closer to Washington,

"Freckles uhm.. how much further?" The blue asked as he began picking up Wash and slinging him over his shoulder without protest.

"Nearest Friendly Tag is 189m away"

Panic was rising in his voice, "okay thank you Freckles!" His speed was considerably lessened with the extra weight but that didn't stop Caboose from making his strides as quick as possible.

--

Wash had stopped responding about halfway from their predictament. Caboose didn't stop moving until they breached the shore on the other side.

Caboose laid Washington on the ground and unholstered Freckles, laying it behind them.

"Freckles you lookout for bad guys."

"Affirmative."

Oh crap oh crap oh crap... Caboose's hands shook as his fingers fumbled with the clasps on Wash's helmet and chestplate.

Water poured out as the seals broke, Wash's hair clung to his forehead. His chest laid still.

What do I do what do I do?? Think Michael think!! Caboose tried to remember what Doc had taught them ages ago. CPR CPR...

"First check to see if they're breathing! If they're not then you'll probably have to perform CPR. Since Grif already knows how to do it he'll be my demonstration."

Caboose glanced at the still freelancer, his chest was still, their chest moves when they breath right?

"Remember, you guys are wearing half-ton armour so you won't have to compress as hard as you would if you weren't. You should press down twice per second, there's songs that help but Beyoncé is timeless so we're gonna use Crazy In Love." Caboose positioned himself above Wash, tried to remember the correct hand shape, and hovered above the freelancer's chest. What if I mess up I don't want to kill Wash he's not special like Church is... he won't come back..

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. He started compressing, finding it easier to just count than remember Doc's silly song.

"Every 30 or so compressions try and give rescue breaths! Tilt their head back a little while pinching their nose to open their airway. Then you're gonna blow into their mouth a normal amount just enough so their chest rises; do that twice. If it doesn't rise make sure they don't have anything stuck in their throat. Grif is that gum I see in there?"

Caboose quickly brought his face to Wash's, blood splattered across his visor.

"Haha whoops sorry Washington!" He brought his hands back to unclasp his own helmet and set it to the side; turning back to brush away some of the bloody nose with his hand.

Caboose lingered slightly, he could feel the air around them now, he could also feel the lack of air coming from Wash's mouth. He cradled the back of Wash's neck in his hand, pinched his nose with the other and started his rescue breaths.

He fell into autopilot, repeating the steps in his mind over and over as he did them until a sharp breath came from Washington, as did a mouthful of cave pond water.

Caboose helped him sit up as Wash coughed up his missing breaths; his gaze fixated on the older man's movement.

"Caboose?" The blue's eyes bore into Wash, he seemed terrified. The feeling broke at the sound of his name however.

"Agent Washington you're okay! You should avoid drinking pond water, I don't think it's good for you." There was smeared blood on Caboose's face, Wash dipped his hand into the water and rubbed it against the stain.

"How'd you get blood on you 'Boose? Where's your helmet?" The other blue wore his helmet so often it was rare to see his face, his hair had gotten a bit longer and Wash could see wearing smile lines from his angle.

"Oh uhm! So when we got out of the water you weren't breathing so I tried to give you Cee Pee Arr but I forgot to take my helmet off! So now you have a bloody nose and you shared it with me when I gave you rescuing breaths!" He smiled, reaching beside him to grab his helm and snapped it back on, his second face returned.

Wash rubbed the back of his hand against his face, his helmet was off as well, and his own blood smeared against the glove.

"Holy shit you saved my life Caboose."

"I did?" His head tilted and he perked up again."I did! Oh my god does that mean my team kills go down? Because I saved you?"

Wash chuckled, clasping his breastplate back on and grabbing his helmet.

"Sure it does."

"Oh! You should probably cover that hole in case we have to go swimming again, Church always packed some for me..." Caboose dug around in his utility belt and procured a large patch used for underarmour sealing; he handed it to Wash and watched as the freelancer slapped it against his neck and rubbed it down.

"Geez thanks Caboose, you're really on it today." Wash said as brushed his hair back and locked his helm back in place.

Caboose wiggled from his seated position, paused, and grabbed Freckles before firing behind him.

Confetti dispersed from the rifle.

"Friendly Signature Detected."

"Caboose what the hell?! Did you really just try to shoot me?"

"Hi Tucker!"

[heygerald]

Falling Without A Harness - Chapter 12

AU where Tom Ryder is still an asshole, just not a psychotic one. In the aftermath of Tom's simple but complicated favor, Parker is forced to finally face reality, and decide once and for all what she wants.

Read the story here: prev / ...

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Melissa's voice echoed across the empty store, each syllable raspy and drawn out, tinged with the same sort of disbelief that has been simmering in Parker's chest all day. "But holy fuck."

The disbelief spirals and explodes, and Parker can't the help the laugh that is startled out of her from the unexpected curse.

"Excuse me," she drawled, aiming for levity, but falling somewhere in the realm of pure shock. "But since when do you curse?"

"Since about eleven am this morning," Melissa chirped back. She's slouched in the reading chair, hair piled on the top of her head in a janky bun, mascara smeared all along her cheeks, and if Parker hadn't been so thrown off by her sudden use of French, she might have taken a moment to reflect on the fact that this is the most out of sorts she has ever seen the girl look. "It just seemed like a good time to start. And, honestly? I kind of get it now. There really is no other way to express yourself properly, is there? Because—I mean seriously, Park—what the fuck?"

Parker knew that she should be scolding the young girl for her language. The last thing she needed was to garner the wrath of a disgruntled mom on top of everything else that she's dealing with. More importantly, she really didn't want teaching the youth curse words to be on her yearly karma bingo card. But... honestly, Parker couldn't help but agree.

There really was no better way to put it.

"Touché."

"Did you know that he was going to post that?"

Parker arched her brow at Melissa. "Do you think I would have left you to cover the shift alone if I knew that this was going to happen? I don't even follow his Instagram. Although, guess I have to after this, don't I?"

Melissa rolled her eyes, head lolling to the side as she stretched out her arms, back, and neck. "Only you would get an exclusive shout-out from the Tom Ryder and you aren't even following his Insta. Totally unfair, by the way."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my sudden luck raining on your plans somehow?"

"It's not luck."

Parker slumped on her elbows, a pen stuck sideways in her mouth as she tried to work through her to-do list for closing down the shop. It was hard to concentrate with Melissa's jabbering, though, and it was even harder to find the energy to sweep the shop when she'd much rather just collapse onto her bed. "What else would it be?"

Melissa blinked at her with a tart expression. "Um, hello? You're dating Tom Ryder. That might have something to do with it."

So surprised by the comment, Parker scratched a line across her notepad, and subsequently decided that her to-do list could wait till later. "We're not—I'm not dating Tom."

"Sure," the girl snorted. "He just hangs around your shop all the time, invites you over for parties, gets dinner with you, and—oh yeah—posts you on his Instagram."

"He didn't post me—"

"But, whatever," she continued, already moving on to the next topic. Parker watched as she bent forward and, with a grimace, tried to rub some feeling into her ankles. "I lost feeling in my toes, like, three hours ago. Is that bad? I mean, I'm not gonna have to get an amputation or anything, will I? Because I'm not missing out on Stacy Jordan's sweet sixteen because of you. Her parents rented out this huge dance hall, and they even hired a DJ."

Parker sighed.

Melissa's train of thought was something that she would never be able to keep up with, and today in particular she did not have the stamina to even try. Sourly, she said, "I told you that those shoes weren't very supportive—"

A book is lobbed in her direction, and Parker ducked behind the register before it can make contact.

The loud fwap of it hitting the ground echoes between the two.

"That better not have been a new edition."

"Oh, fuck off," Melissa said.

Parker returned from her hiding spot—back aching when she sits up, neck hurting when she props herself atop an elbow, eyes burning as she squints at the largest stack of receipts she's ever had before—and clucked her tongue. "You know I think I like this new you. You should curse more often."

"Pf. You just want to get rid of the swear jar."

"Well," she hedged, eyes darting to said jar, "it would save me some money. Unless you feel like paying up anytime soon. That's, what, three f-words? I'm not going to turn my nose up at fifteen bucks anytime soon."

Melissa gave an unbothered snort. "You wish."

"So, it's just a punishment for me, then?"

"You won't even need that thing after this week," she pressed on, sinking deeper into the worn out plush of the reading chair as her gaze slowly drifted across the bookstore. The shelves are the emptiest they've ever been, and the decorations they worked meticulously hard to find are in disarray from the constant throng of customers today. It's not a problem they've had before, having to reset the store after closing, but Parker supposes that's a good problem to have. "My feet hurt because of how busy we were, not because of my shoes—which, by the way, I had to wait in line for two hours to get—they will be supportive if I want them to be. Does this mean you'll finally hire Emily?"

"Emily?"

"My best friend. I've introduced you, like, ten times."

Parker conjured up a blurry image of a blonde girl, identical to Melissa in every way except for their different colored hair and eyes, with matching braces to boot. She thought she was nice, but, honestly, she can't really recall. Whatever. "Why would I hire Emily?"

Melissa scowled. "Well, that's rude. Just because she's my best friend doesn't mean that we're going to goof off or anything. She's just as hard of a worker as I am. You'd practically be getting two employees for the price of one if you hired her. Plus, it would drive Maddy H crazy if Emily got to work at Tom Ryder's bookstore and she didn't."

"It's not—" Parker started, before shaking the thought away. Bigger things to focus on, she reminded herself. "I thought we talked about this. I can give you a raise, but I can't afford to hire someone else."

"Uh, correction, you couldn't afford to hire someone else."

Parker puts the stack of receipts away, mind slowly but surely drifting to the next task as she attempts to lock the register down. She would definitely have to stop at the bank tomorrow to deposit their cash from the day—not a problem she had ever had before—and she mentally adds that to the list of musts. "Did I win the lottery without knowing it or something?"

Her question hangs flat in the air, and in response, Melissa curls a disbelieving look in her direction. "You're kidding, right? Did you see how busy we were today?"

"Right, listen," Parker started, but by how intense Melissa's eyeroll was, it was obvious that the teenager would not, in fact, be listening. "One good day of sales doesn't override an entire quarter of awful sales. This was just—just a fluke. I can't just hire Emily on a whim because we had one nice day. Ever heard of a rainy day fund?"

Melissa, hand in the air as she inspects the damage to her manicure, scoffed. "Yeah, but it's not just one good day."

"Are you secretly working at a different bookstore in your free time or something?"

"Oh my god," Melissa moaned, before dropping her boots to the ground with a heavy thud. "Right, you listen."

"Oh, here we go—"

"Park, I know you're big on self decrepitation and whatever—something I'm guessing you learned from your total has been of a brother—"

"Wow. You know, you two have got to figure out whatever this beef is about," Parker interrupted, only to be promptly ignored as Melissa stood.

"But this isn't just going to die down," she said, the stack of bangles on her wrists jangling as she made air quotes to emphasize her point. "Tom Ryder gave you a personal shout-out on his Instagram. That, like, never happens. The only things he posts are selfies, and paid promotions. In February, he posted a three second video about his Erewhon smoothie, and they're still selling out on the daily."

Parker frowned. "Smoothie?"

"So not the point," Melissa grumbled with another jingle of her bracelets. "The point is that this—" she gestured around them, to the bookshelves and the roof and the chair beneath her with one long sweeping motion, "just hit the jackpot. Kay? This is going to go viral, and when it does, you're going to have crowds like today every day."

That doesn't sound right. Parker knows that Tom is famous, that he has millions of followers on all of his social media, and that there are fangirls out there of his even more obsessed with what he does than the one scowling across the room from her. But just because he posted her store doesn't mean that she's going to have throngs of fans outside, day after day.

That sort of thing just... didn't happen.

Not to people like her.

Right?

"Okay, well, I mean," she started, struggling to put her thoughts into words after all of her braincells effectively went on vacation for the weekend. The cash register snapped shut with a metallic clang, and she dangled the key between her hands mindlessly. "Even if we go viral, we'll be popular for a bit, but not for, like, ever. A month, maybe."

Melissa blinked at her in that sort of way that means she's judging her, and when she hefts herself to a stand, Parker can feel the lecture about to come. "Look, I know you're a millennial and you aren't really active online, so I'll break it down for you."

"How gracious," she snarked, rolling her eyes.

"It's going to be like this—like it was today—for weeks. Until something new or something better comes along, but even then you're going to have Influencers coming in for pictures, wanting to stake a claim on this place just like Tom did. Okay? Which means more pictures, more shout-outs, and more people seeing this place on their FYPs."

"FY—?"

"So, yeah, maybe this place isn't going to stay viral forever, but that just means it's all the more important to capitalize on the attention while you can. If people are flocking here just to get stuck in long lines because there's only one employee during the day, then they're going to lose interest faster."

"I know how business work," Parker interjected, offended on her own behalf, but Melissa didn't seem to care one way or the other about her feelings.

"So you know that you need to dress to impress."

Parker narrowed her eyes at the girl shrewdly. She was staring to get that familiar feeling in her gut that Melissa was winding up for some big scheme, and previous experience had proven that when Melissa really wanted something, Parker was helpless but to give in. "Is this just some big production so I'll hire a bunch of your little cheerleading friends?"

The face she made was lethal. "First off, Emily doesn't cheer, she does dance, and that sort of tone is both condescending and so not cool. Secondly, it's an excuse to hire someone else so I don't get stuck like I did today when my boss decides to go gallivanting around town without her phone!"

"I wasn't gallivanting," she defended. "It was, just, an unfortunate—"

"Parker," Melissa said, leaning on her elbows until they were inches apart. "Hire some more people, or you're going to have to work every shift of this store forever because I don't ever want to experience that rush alone again."

Ugh.

The girl had a serious point—about everything, it seemed—but Parker was in no mood to think about any of that. "I already said I'd give you a raise."

"Well, that is a given," she chirped, gathering her purse and jacket from behind the counter. Parker might have been more put off by her attitude if she didn't think the girl deserved a hearty raise. Afterall, she was a little mastermind in her own right, as terrifying as that could be. "But I'd also like to have extra help, and it's no one's business if that extra help is a couple of my friends from school. I take this job seriously, you know. I wouldn't recommend her if she wouldn't be a good employee."

"You're a menace, you know that, right?"

Melissa smiled, and for the first time all day, it seemed more conniving than tired. "I'll send you her resume."

"No, no, no, that's not what I just—"

"And, anyways, she's just as big of a fan of you and Tom as I am. I mean, obviously, she's never met him, but I tell her everything. She totally ships you two. Probably not as much as I do, obviously," she trailed on, finally getting around to swipe the mascara off her cheeks as she bent even closer into Parker's space, "but she's invested. I think it's totally time you post him on your story."

"My what?"

"I mean, he already posted you. Or, you know, your store," she corrected herself, waving a hand around flippantly as if those were the same thing. And, maybe, in the mind of a teenage fangirl, they were. "Relationships are never official until it's on the page."

"We're not—"

"Have you thought about a ship name, yet?" she barreled on, completely ignoring the fact that every extra word she said was only compounded the migraine growing between Parker's temples. "Because I think Ryvers is so, totally cute, but Emily likes Parom better. Although, that sounds a little—"

"Okay, alright, that's it," Parker stood from her stool, and in the matter of seconds had shooed the teenager outside with as much decorum as she could muster. It was ruined, of course, by the bright red blush sprawling across her face like wild fire. "Goodnight, Melissa. Thank you for your help today, I will see you next week."

"But—"

"Goodbye!"

She shut the door with the jingle of the overhead bell and promptly slumped against it. A few beats passed before Melissa's boots clomped off in the direction of the bus stop, and when it fell silent outside, she glanced around. The store at night, with the main lights switched off and the crackled radio drifting from the corner, felt eerily empty after the busy day they had. And while the trash absolutely needed to be taken out, and the shelves needed to be catalogued for what she would have to put in her upcoming order, for the first time ever, Parker decided that there were some things that could wait until tomorrow.

After all, she had a boy to talk to.

---

"Are we dating?"

Tom, dressed down in some Nike sweats and a simple black tee with sleep marks red on the side of his face, blinked at Parker like she was on drugs. And, honestly, she supposed that was a fair assumption to make. After all, it was nearing midnight by the time she pulled into his driveway, unannounced, her hair mussed like a bird's nest from driving the entire way into the Hills with the windows down, and the anxious energy from the day's chaos had yet to make itself useful other than by adding a shakiness to her hands.

And while she had spent the entire drive over contemplating all the things that she wanted to ask him, the first thing that had come out of her mouth when he opened the door was that.

"What?"

Parker winced, anxiously wringing her hands together, before she pressed inside. She supposed having a mansion in the Hills meant that even the closest neighbors were too far away to hear anything, but the idea that there might be someone witnessing what likely could be considered a mental breakdown was not a comforting thought.

"I didn't mean..." she started, shaking her head, before she stooped to untie her shoes. That proved to be an impossible task with how shaky her hands, were, however, and in the end she just kicked them off with a grunt. "That wasn't what I—well, Melissa seems convinced that we are."

Parker could feel his eyes burrowing into her back, and Parker pointedly avoided eye contact as her cheeks flamed a hot red.

"Melissa," he echoed dully.

Cool, she thought to herself. Just be cool.

But the Seavers siblings were not known for their ability to play it cool, and while he drifted after her, Parker miserably tried to think of a way to explain her squirrel-brained thoughts without sounding like a lunatic.

"Well, you know, you posted me on Instagram."

"I didn't post you on my Instagram," he corrected.

And—shit. Wasn't that exactly what she had argued?

Parker was happy that her back was to him as her face flushed an even more indelicate red. It didn't help that there were lamps on all throughout the living room, orange and yellow hues of lighting casting shadows across her already warm face.

"I know, I know, and I told her exactly that, but she has it in her head that posting, well, my shop is the same thing as posting me and then she wouldn't shut up about it today. And now she wants me to hire her friend who is also convinced that we're, you know, dating, and I told her that she's—that that's not—you know..."

The knit of his brows made it painstakingly obvious that Tom didn't know, and honestly how would he? She didn't even know what she was trying to say.

"I... think I need a drink," she muttered, scurrying to the fridge where she withdrew two ice cold bottles of beer. IPAs were not her favorite by a long shot, but there were far more important things to handle, and without hesitating, Parker popped one open. A long swallow followed before she awkwardly slid the second bottle towards Tom. "Maybe I should start again."

His brows disappeared into his hairline, but the moment she met his eye Parker just knew that he was relishing in this particular conversation.

She planted her elbows on the counter, and caught her head in her hands with a whine. "I really wish that you had given me a heads-up about the post."

Whatever was smug withered and died. "A heads-up?"

"Just so I could have been more prepared, you know," she hedged, fingers nervously plucking at the wet label on her beer bottle. "Between the crowds today and my system freezing and Melissa pestering at me about our—you know—whatever, I feel like I've been running around like a headless chicken. It's been a lot to handle."

He was silent for a long moment, and by the time that she dared to glance at him he had managed to shake off any remaining sleepiness. Now, he scowled at her long and hard. "Right, well, next time I'll make sure to get your approval ahead of time. Should I have changed the picture too? Written a longer post about how much I fucking adore your shitty little store?"

Parker reared back. "Hey, it's not shitty."

"Right," he scoffed, shaking his head at her. "You know, most people would at least hold off on their complaints until after they've said thank you. Common deceny, and all that."

Parker deflated against the counter as Tom looped around the other side of the couch to sit down. There were pillows sprawled across it, a blanket pooling on the ground, and a Tom shaped indent in one of the cushions from where he had been sleeping before she showed up. When he flicked the tv off mute, Parker became increasingly aware of how poorly this conversation was going.

She took a deep breath and a long dreg of her beer before carefully seating herself on the table smack dab in his line of view. When he refused to give in, however, she took the remote out of his hand and flicked the tv off with a huff.

"Tom—"

But he wasn't having any of it, and he rolled his eyes at her so intensely that it must have hurt. "Oh, fuck. Look, if you're going to make this into some big lecture or whatever you can save us both the time and effort. I already spent the day dealing with this bullshit from Gail. I don't need it from you too."

As almost every mention of his producer did, that caught her off guard. "Gail?"

"Yeah, imagine that," he scoffed. "I try to do something nice, for once, and the first thing she does is yell at me because of it. And now you're here doing the same thing, and I don't even know what I expected, but it sure as shit isn't—"

"Why would she yell at you?" she interrupted.

He finished half of his beer in a swallow. "Why do you think?"

She wasn't sure. That was half the reason she asked the question, but when he tensed—as if preparing for that exact sort of answer—Parker's mouth snapped shut just as quickly as it had opened.

Why would Gail be upset?

Sure, she was his producer, and likely was miffed about missing out on her fee, but it wasn't like a percentage of twenty grand would have had any real impact on her salary. After all, Tom hadn't minced his words earlier when talking about how much of his yearly income went to the movie mogul. And Parker had seen her house; the woman wasn't going to be pinching pennies any time soon unless she was robbed at gunpoint. And even then she would probably benefit from her high profile connections.

Which meant if it wasn't the money that she cared about, it must have been...

Realization was a painful thing, and Parker rounded towards Tom with wide eyes. "She's upset because you did this without asking her?"

Another swallow of his beer. "I told you that I don't do stuff without asking her."

"But you did this time."

"Because she would have fucking said no," he ground out, distaste over even having to admit it obvious from his tone. "Which is fucking—I mean, it's my fucking life. I can do what I want. Should be able to, anyway. I'm the one making her money, but I do this one thing and she's all pissed off about it. You know how small that makes me feel? That she would even expect me to get permission from her?"

"Tom," she said, only to have him steamroll on.

"It's bullshit. Total bullshit."

"Tom," she tried again when he didn't seem to hear her.

But whatever floodgate he had opened wasn't closing anytime soon, and Parker felt her chest constrict. "Everything I do is because she tells me to do it. I don't even chose who I sponsor. But I do one post without her permission and get shit for it. And apparently, not just from her. Because you're here too, pissed that I didn't tell you ahead of time, and it's like no matter what I do it's—"

Not knowing what else to do, but knowing that she had to do something, Parker lurched forward to sling her arms around his neck. He went stiff beneath her touch, freezing as she attempted to pull him to her, before his hands slowly bracketed around her waist.

"What are you—?"

"I'm sorry," she muttered. Then, when that wasn't enough—because how could that ever be enough—she tightened her hold on him hoping that it might convey what she didn't know how to say. Parker shook her head into the crook of his neck, swallowing. "Fuck, Tom, I'm sorry. I didn't come over here to yell at you. I swear I didn't. I'm not even mad, I don't know why I said that thing about the heads-up, I just... I just was so overwhelmed today that I didn't know what to say or how to bring it up or thank you that I just—I just word vomited. Okay? I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry."

"Hey," he said, arms tightening around her. "It's okay."

But it wasn't okay, and he had to know that. "But it's not, Tom. You just—you just changed my life, you know? What you did... I've never had that many people in my store before, and they were lined up, and the line didn't dissipate all day! I think I sold, like, half my inventory because of you, and if that continues even for a month then I'll be able to actually finance my store and I won't have to close and... I'll never be able to thank you enough for that."

She leaned back to find Tom frowning at her. "It was just a post."

"To you, and to Gail," she said, finally being able to express what she had been stewing on all day. "But to me... it's everything. I don't know how I'll ever be able to pay you back."

"Pay me back?"

"I mean, I could give you some of the profit, but it probably won't be much. Especially since I still have loans to pay off, and I need to get insurance, and fix the AC, and maybe even hire some new staff, but I'm sure I could give you percentage. Like, a little over time, and it definitely won't be much, but—"

She didn't realize she was rambling until Tom shook her. "I don't want you to pay me back, Park."

"But—"

"Nah," he said, shaking his head at her. One of his hands twisted into the cotton of her sweater, and for the first time that night, as he ducked his head to avoid her gaze Parker realized that maybe he was just as anxious about this entire thing as she was. "I owe you, okay. Not the other way around."

Parker couldn't think of anything more ridiculous than that, and her brows furrowed a divot into her forehead. "What are you talking about?"

He released a chuckle of disbelief, the sound low and raspy in his throat. "I know I'm an asshole. What you said when we first met, that day on the set, it pissed me off so much because... you were right, and no one else had ever bothered to tell me. I'm an asshole to staff and to the crew and to your fucking brother, but do you seriously think I'm blind to all the things that you've done for me?"

Floundering for words—and thoughts—all she could do was blink at him.

Tom glanced away, fingers wrapping themselves into her shirt, skating a burning line over her skin. "You—you're..." he started, before drifting off. Clearly, she wasn't the only person struggling to put their thoughts into words tonight, but Parker was too dumbfounded by the fact that Tom Ryder was admitting to be an asshole above all else, that she couldn't find the energy to interrupt him. "No one has ever... held me accountable before."

Even more bewildered then before, she stared at him. "And that's... a good thing? Because I thought that drove you crazy? I mean—"

"God, of course it drives me crazy," he cut her off with another chuckle. "But you do it because—because you see something in me that no one else does, you know? You see... me. Not the rich, famous me that everyone else sees and takes advantage of, but the asshole on the inside that no one else likes. Do you know how many people have found me in the bathroom like you did? Do you know how none of them have ever cared before?"

Parker's hands skated around his neck, desperate for something to hold onto, to feel, as she gently flattened them out on his chest. "You don't owe me anything for that," she said, shaking her head. "You didn't have to do this just to make up for that. I like being in your life, being your friend, your... I think more people care about you than you think, Tom."

He swallowed, and her eyes tracked the movement of his throat. "And you're the only person in my life that would say shit like that and mean it."

"Of course I mean it. I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know," he said, hands drifting further up her back, a connection that she didn't dare break as they settled into the groove of her spine. "And that's why I did it. So I don't want anything from you, alright? I just... want to give you this. Fuck Gail, fuck my social media manager, fuck all of them. Just this once I want to do something for someone else. Well, no, even that's a lie. Not for someone else, but for you."

Parker bit her lip, feeling her heart thump against her chest, and she was certain that he must have felt it too as she leaned against him. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "You're—just... you're not like other girls, you know that?"

Despite the tension growing between them, the softness of the moment and the tender way he was holding her, Parker couldn't keep back a startled laugh. And when she did laugh, Tom's hands paused in their movements, brows knitting a second time as he watched her with something wary struck across his features.

"Sorry, sorry," she said almost immediately, biting her lip, only for another giggle to escape. He looked truly put off then, and she carefully skated her hands back around his neck. "I just... sorry, I'm not laughing at you. That just so sounded like a line."

The wariness vanished, replaced by irritable fondness, and his hands pressed her closer. "Yeah, well," he said, that oh-so familiar smugness of his curling his mouth upwards. "What if it was?"

"Oh?"

He shrugged, pressing on. "Lots of girls would kill to hear that kind of line from Tom Ryder, you know? You should consider yourself lucky."

"I thought I wasn't like other girls."

"You're not. No other girl has ever driven me fucking crazy like you do."

"Flattering," she snarked. But the skate of his hands was starting to ignite a nervous fluttering in her stomach, and as her nails dug into his shirt, Parker could barely maintain a sense of decorum as she smirked at him. "Well? Go on then."

"With?"

"You've given me a line. I'm interested in seeing what other sorts of moves the famous Tom Ryder has to woo the ladies. You want to show me your wine cellar? Art collection? Is there a disco ball that comes down from your ceiling if I clap?"

His entire torso shook as he laughed. "See what I mean? You're drive me fucking crazy."

"Ah, maybe, but that wasn't a no—"

Parker swore that a single kiss from Tom Ryder had the ability to set her entire body alight. Sometimes, she wondered if he felt it too; the way the pads of his thumbs would trail a burning line along her skin or how her hands got shaky as she trailed them up into his hair. His hands certainly didn't shake; not when they pulled her sweater over her head or drifted along the length of her legs, fingers dipping into the ticklish spot behind her knees, tugging her impossibly closer before moving up, up, up...

This time, there was no party to return to, no busybodies to avoid or assistants needing Tom's attention in between fittings on set, and most importantly no phone to chirp at them or brother to distract.

There was just her and him, Parker and Tom.

And when the tension between them—once ugly and mean and festering and awful, now golden and beautiful and, maybe even destined—finally broke, she realized that it wasn't so bad to have someone to drive crazy; perhaps, even, it was the spark that she had been missing.

[fatuismooches]

Hi hi, first off I love scrolling your page. It has become part of my morning routine to read at least one of your posts before I do anything else. 2. I may not like Dottore but I do just wanna steal Pufftore for myself to cuddle.

In that sense, as something that was created and forgotten in the giant lab of his, Dottore truly forgot the thing existed until he spotted it in the room where reader was during their coma. He was ready to rush in and grab the "abomination" but ended up just standing there in the doorway and watching the creature climb on the bed and reader just subconsciously reacts the fluffball by turning their head slightly with no other movements.

It was the first time in maybe decades since reader has fallen into their second coma that he's seen reader react to anything. Even when he administered medicines and other treatments. Sometimes there would be small twitches of their fingers but nothing like them turning their head towards the creature who decided to nap right by their head.

The next time he visits reader, the fluffball had shifted to lay against readers side and he leaves it be, the creature wasn't doing anything but napping away. The day one of the younger segments burst though his office door in a panic, he is seen sprinting down the halls to reader's room. The door is slammed opened and there you are hugging Pufftore in one arm sleepily while another segment is taking your vitals. Reader who turned their head when he burst in smiled before asking, "did you make this cutie to keep me company while you were away?"

He didn't have the heart to tell them that it was an accidental experiment and was supposed to be destroyed. So he lied and said yes. Of course he and the other segments are jealous of the stupid creature getting all of the attention but reader as content with having a fluffy little companion while he was away at work. So the creature gets to live simply because it makes his s/o happy.

Sorry for the word vomit, it kinda got away from me ^^;

I'M LITERALLY GONNA CRY RN THIS IS AMAZING ANON 😭❤️ (And thank you so much!! I'm honored to be part of your routine 🥺🫶) ugh,,, i'm gonna be obsessing and brainrotting over this so hard...

Honestly, with all of the segments doing their own little experiments and the vast space of the lab, there are just things that are bound to get lost along the line. But they never care too much, because they tend to get bored with their experiments very quickly and forget about them when they stop being interesting. The blue abomination of a fox just so happened to be one of them. Discarded to the side with no real thought. He assumed it would up and die somehow but instead, he sees the unnamed creature clamber up your bed, with its stumpy little legs, and nuzzle into your sleeping body. And then you move. You move. He's been trying so, so hard to get you to react to something, anything, and a little abomination is the one who does it? All of his speeches and ranting to your sleeping self were that puny compared to this failed creature? He's upset but relieved at the same time. A part of you is still there, somewhere, at the very least.

The next time he comes, he finds that the disfigured fox had brought more... friends? Now little black puffs with a sole strand of blue hair rested around you. Dottore doesn't even remember creating those things... were they a byproduct of the first experiment?? As much as he wants to shoo them away from lying so comfortably on your body, he decides to leave them be. You seemed to enjoy them, despite not being conscious. Perhaps he should study them more in-depth? Maybe they were worth more experimenting on.

When you finally wake up, caressing that stupid fox and the bundle of small puffs jumping up and down around you excitedly, he can only say what will please you. In all honesty, he had no idea what the hell he was doing or thinking while making that abomination, he doesn't know why it has a fluffy tail and ears of a fox and the red eye and beak of a crow. And he doesn't find it cute in the slightest and can't see why you do but... it makes you smile. He can't bring himself to take away it, not when you've been so miserable with your illness.

The creatures definitely hide behind your leg so often, and then look up at the segments so smugly when you scold them for being mean to your pets. Ugh, sometimes they really want to strangle those things...

[just-a-little-cellist]

Hey! I just discovered your account and I absolutely love your writing-I feel like you characterise everyone perfectly! I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if I could make one? Could you write either Fili or Kili (or both, separately, if you’re feeling up for it but don’t feel like you need to) being protective over the reader? Like maybe someone is being mean to them or they are being followed or something along those lines (maybe with she/her pronouns but they/them is also fine!). You can choose the format-I’m not picky about whether you do head canons or a one shot or anything else. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like writing this and lemme know if I’ve requested anything off limits! Have a wonderful day/night-imma just binge read a bunch of your posts👌

(aw thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stuff :D I'm gonna do headcanons for this one so I hope you enjoy! I'm also in my Fili brainrot era so thank you for an excuse to indulge it)

(Kili x fem!reader, Fili x fem!reader - mentions of violence)

Kili:

Kili is a little impulsive in the way he protects you. Like if there's someone bothering you he will absolutely cause a scene.

If there is someone being mean to you and he overhears it, he'll wrap his arms around your waist from behind and asks them if there's a problem.

(He gets possessive in moments like these.)

It's not surprising how fast people get scared off by a scowling prince. As soon as he arrives there are lots of bowed heads and mumbled apologies before whoever was bothering you scampers away.

And if there's a man harassing you? Don't even bother trying to hold Kili back, it's pointless.

Any indication that you're being followed, sexually harassed or anything remotely threatening, he's already drawn his sword and marched towards them with fury on his face.

This is more for the threat than with intention to kill, but he will not hesitate to knock out whoever was scaring you.

As soon as they're gone, he immediately reverts back into the sweet, goofy dwarf you're used to. He triple checks that you're alright, that you're not hurt, and then will spoil you with affection for the rest of the day.

Fili:

Fili is much more toned back than his younger brother, but that doesn't mean he cares any less. He's just very conscious about escalating anything in case you get hurt.

When someone is being mean to you, while he does flash a quick glare in their direction, he will generally ignore them. He sidles up to you and presses his forehead to yours in greeting, with his hand on the small of your back, and makes sure to shower you with compliments as he guides you away from them.

And obviously being heir to the throne nobody would even think about saying anything to you again now that they know you're a couple.

If you're being harassed, Fili is angry but will not move to physical violence unless he's provoked.

He will subconsciously put himself between you and your harasser, with a hand on one of the many blades he keeps on his person. He doesn't draw it, but makes it obvious that he is armed.

He tells the person to leave, his voice dangerously quiet. Somehow it's scarier than if he was yelling.

Much like Kili, once he's checked that you're unharmed he spoils you for the rest of the day. He isn't usually massive on PDA - he enjoys it but has an image to uphold - but he will indulge you as much as you want after this event.

[snikt-and-chimichangas]

Discord Server Fall Event Starting 15th of September- 31st of October!!

Hey there, chimichanga lovers! This Fall Event kicks off September 15th and runs all the way through to October 31st, so you've got plenty of time to get your creative juices flowing!

We’re talking fanarts, edits, vids, fics, moodboards, cosplay—you name it. Oh, and we’ll keep you updated with cool stuff along the way, like a possible AO3 collection for all you fanfic aficionados.

Now, a quick reminder: This is just for fun! No pressure to do everything—seriously, no one’s going to send Deadpool after you if you skip a square or two (…yet). If you manage to cross off a full line of 4, you might even win something snazzy! Don’t be shy if you have questions, either. Just reach out and I’ll answer—probably with too much enthusiasm and way too many emojis.

So grab your pumpkin spice whatever, your coziest hoodie, and dive into the madness! It's gonna be fall-tastic! I'm going to share the respective bingo prompt cards (the NSFW one will be available in the ⁠spicy-writing channel! I'll also post some prompts here (I have like a dozen maybe but will update with more prompts in waves!).

[Here are 3/4 Bingo cards (the NSFW one is available in the server)] Halloween/Fall Bingo Rules:

Welcome to the Spookiest Bingo Ever! Get ready for a fang-tastic time as you dive into our Halloween/Fall bingo game. Here’s everything you need to know to join the fun!

How to Play:

Pick Your Bingo Card: Choose a bingo card from the provided list. Each card is filled with Halloween and Fall-themed word- prompts.

Complete the Activities: For each square on your card, complete the corresponding activity. This could be fanart, edits, videos, music, gifs, writing, songs, moodboards, aesthetics, cosplay, or anything else that fits the theme. Feel free to be as creative as you like!

Document Your Entries: Share your completed activities through the specified channels (e.g., social media, forum, or event page). Make sure to include a caption or description for each entry to explain how it fits the bingo prompt. (You can even add in your AO3 note a ref to the server's bingo!!)

Mark Your Card: As you complete each activity, mark off the corresponding square on your bingo card. You can use emojis or any creative method to highlight your progress.

Lines and Patterns: Aim to complete lines of 4 (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally) or any specific patterns indicated on your card. Winning and Prizes:

Partial Wins: If you achieve a line of 4 completed squares, you’re in for a treat! Share your progress, and you could win a special prize or recognition!

Full Card Wins: Complete every square on your bingo card to be in the running for our ultimate titles!

Spooky Title: For those who complete the entire Halloween card, you’ll be crowned with a “Haunted Master of Fall” title!

NSFW Cheeky Title: For a playful twist, you might also earn the title of “Frightfully Frisky Fangster” if you complete the NSFW Bingo Card! This title is for adults only and is meant to be cheeky and fun.

Additional Notes:

Participation is Optional: You’re welcome to join in and try any activities you like. It’s all about having fun, so there’s no pressure to complete everything!🧡

Creativity Counts: Feel free to interpret the prompts in your own unique way. Whether it’s a spooky song, a chilling moodboard, or a fang-tastic piece of art, your creativity is encouraged!

NSFW Content Warning: The “Frightfully Frisky Fangster” title is for adults only. To keep things respectful and safe for everyone, please skip the NSFW Bingo if you're not 18+. We’re all here to have fun, but let’s make sure we follow the rules and keep it age-appropriate. Thanks for understanding!

Updates and Announcements: We’ll keep you updated with progress and announcements. Make sure to check in regularly for new updates and to see how everyone is doing!

We also shared some fall poolverine AND X-Men themed prompts in the server, so feel free to hop in to get access to them!! If you want to join our server, please send a direct message (not an ask) and we'll provide you with an invite!!🧡🧡🧡

_ Maul from the Mod Team

[oddvanilla]

Honey, I'm pregnant and it's yours

Also Petey misses you

Im scared even writing this, I know I'm gonna get smth along the lines of 'go the fuck away' but I jus can't help it

I know u know who this is

Also I'm also very scared of you at the moment

Thank you, and I know it seems weird but I can't help it but, I love you [I seem creepy, sorry, also u don't have to accept it]

Bye bye, u probably won't even post this but I've been killing myself thinking about doing this

Thank you

Also Petey really does miss u 🤣

Also just thanks again

[Also sorry I'm not like talking about our break up or anything Id just prefer to do that if I knew u want to too and not like this]

Bye bye for reals now, id put a silly photo but I'm doing this in anon for some reason :)

Bye bye

Also I know you probably didn't expect this to happen

But hey I needed to do something about it

Bye bye now

HOLY CRAP HOW DID I NEVER SEE THIS??? it must've gotten lost in my notifications or something idk...

HAI R**N* !!! I remember your name and every time I try to type my own, yours always comes first. Even when I'm filling up forums or crap...

I'm sorry for scaring you off!!! I still care about you. And for every time I forget to, here I'll just say: I still love you 🫶 even after everything that happened. You're like impossible to hate. I can't help it either🤷‍♀️

My sister still checks on you, even you know that. She tells me what happened to you and that kinda crap. I feel bad all the time, and I'm sorry. I would've said this way earlier If I could, but stuff happens,, YK?? It hurts me so bad knowing what I caused. I didn't mean to do this to you, and even back when we were friends I tried holding on because I can't let you ruin yourself. I miss what we had, that's one fact.

I do care if you kill yourself. I DO care if you slit your wrist. I do still care about you in general. All I wish you is love, that's pretty much. I even asked my sister to go and give you asks just so you're not alone anymore. I don't care if she replaces me,, hey at least you got a friend!!!

But I never deleted everything we shared. All the screenshots from our conversations are like a comfort place, even. I still listen to every song you used to spam. I know I hate pencey prep and frank iero, but I still listen to their music because it reminds me of you. I only hated MCR because I wanted you to have your own thing. I want you to focus on yourself and crap. But now I just went back to listening to MCR because it's all I have left of you. You deserve a real apology from me if you just let us talk this out!!!

I can't replace you, and you know that. I call people my husband or wife but I still have you in mind. You're the best person on here I know, and even though I hated it or pretended it, I miss waking up to lots of messages. Now I still wake up to those but from lots of different people. I don't like it that way, I wish you could just come back. I waited for you SO long and I gave up. I want you back and I would do anything for that. But I didn't go talk to you directly because you know I want you to have space. I miss having only ONE person to go to. I didn't ignore you because I had other people to talk to!!! If anything, my parents expected so much from me like school and other crap that I don't have time to reply to anyone either!!!

Now it's been rough and stuff. I almost have nobody to open up to. Everyone I know is either always asleep or always can't talk. But you're always there and that's one thing nobody can beat you at. I don't even text people first anymore because I feel like I'm a bother and when I'm with you it just feels easier because. You're accepting.

I never told anyone about what we had in detail. I never tried to do the same things WE did with anyone else either. Nobody has to know about what letters are missing in p** w*y h*g*er. Nobody has to know why we hated your brother and how he was a bitch. I don't even send people frerard fanfics anymore because I don't want a friendship story like ours just a 2.0 version. I think you're the one for me, if anything. I love you and you didn't mess up, I did.

I don't want you to leave me alone, I want you back. If YOU can do this then we could build everything back. just know that even if you don't want me, it's fine. But I won't try to find anyone better,, I'll just sit back, I guess🙏🙏 tell mamacita im not done with rizzing her up🙄🙄

[ectonurites]

Now that we’re halfway through it what are your thoughts on Kon’s solo?

I've been enjoying it! I think it's been fun so far—I do think that letting Kon have a story where he's out on his own just doing a classic little adventure like this rather than... something super tethered to the greater DCU/its continuity messes is refreshing after the last few years he's had.

Like I definitely don't want him isolated from all his friends in space forever or anything like that, but I think him getting to do this on his own right now is cool. I think the thing Porter seems to be going for with Kon 'chasing after the glory days'/trying to find some shred of his old life to cling onto (even if it's just a space imitation of it) is definitely interesting and like... makes enough sense to me for him and where he's at after The Everything.

I just gave this 'how Kon has changed across the eras' post of mine from a while back (fall 2021, so written shortly after the whole Suicide Squad Match Ordeal™) a re-read and something I was talking about at the end was how after all the experiences he's had he has looped back around to embracing aspects of his old self (that he'd been pushing away for a long time because of 2000's-era Trauma And Angst) and I think this current book is definitely like, playing with that.

What I was talking about in that post ended mostly after YJ 2019 though—his state of mind at that point being more or less 'okay I'm back now let's goooooo!!!!!' before The Horrors of realizing he came back to a world that really had moved on without him for years really set in. Like, he knew about that by the end of YJ 2019, but I think he needed to sit on it for a bit and see it firsthand... also even though I know the book was a mess and not well received, I think we should still acknowledge Dark Crisis: Young Justice—where he got a firsthand taste of the olden 90's 'I hadn't died yet, I hadn't disappeared yet, I hadn't been replaced yet' days in Mickey's dream world. After experiencing that and getting some reality checks from the rest of the team, he knows he can't seriously just go back, you can't go back to the past like that... but...

The new understanding of himself he'd achieved just before/while stuck on Gemworld—where we saw he was making active choices about who he's gonna be based on what he wants rather than Clark-based expectations or anyone else's input, and where he was rolling with the changes and circumstances that had been thrown at him—has been thrown SERIOUSLY out of whack!

So rather than it being that 'he's returning to aspects of who he used to be while incorporating the experience and maturity he's gained along the way over the years' situation from YJ 2019, it's started warping into 'he's regressing back to the safety of being the Metropolis Kid/his 90's era self just out in space this time so TECHNICALLY it's DIFFERENT'. Which I think is an interesting approach! And him acting completely and totally in denial of that being what he's doing (even though it's clear he knows damn well it is) is also totally in line with classic Kon—thinking back to the Young Justice (1998) #7 camping trip LMAO.

But like, the thing is, Superboy: The Man of Tomorrow #1 started with an editor's note clarifying it takes place before Action Comics #1051 which began the new family-focused era of the book... that Kon is very obviously present for.

So we already know he's gonna figure out that there is a place for him back on earth and that he doesn't need to completely regress and try to relive his past somewhere else, he can just be himself and carve out his own path at home and have a place within the family. We're not stuck guessing about what Kon's fate is gonna be after the fact—instead, this book gets to focus on this journey he's going through and we're along for the ride to see how he's gonna finally reach that conclusion! Which is fun!

Anyways, that was a lot of word dumping—Kon just gets me going man, you know he always does—but in conclusion: I'm enjoying the book overall, it has definitely kept me as a Kon fan engaged, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes!

+ as much as ideologically I am opposed to DC Round Robin, I'm definitely (at this point anyways) glad that this book got to exist.

[haute-honey]

astrology opinions.

Reminder that these are just subjective opinions just like any other astrology observational post. If it don't apply, bye.

Someone having your sun sign as their moon is really not all that. The moon person tends to be playing pretend in front of the sun person. Very deceptive.

I saw someone describe Taurus placements as "sweet" and "innocent" lmfaooooooo Taurus is a sign that you don't want to fuck with or have them perceive you as being an enemy because they can be nuttier than squirrel shit. They aren't Joe from You. They are Brandy from A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. I feel like I've said this in another observation post but just want to reiterate because don't get it fucked up with these people they will end you. If fuck around and find out was an astrological sign. They are not afraid of being vindictive and conniving over what is "theirs".

Speaking of which, Water sign dominant femmes get waaaay too overrepresented for being the crazy jealous "my man my man my man" type of lovers when earth sign dominant femmes are just like them. Yes they may be slower to open up but once they do? Good luck trying to shake them. An earth sign woman/femme will go to the ends of the earth for their lover and if someone comes along and tries to threaten what they feel they've "built", they turn into eminem in love the way you lie part 2.

Virgo placements, its okay to be a nerd. Just don't be a loser. There is a difference. (This take is more directed towards the men/masculines w/ virgo placements.)

I have yet to see or witness a Scorpio sun be as mYstEriOus as yall claim they are.... they're usually the loudest hoe in the room.

If you want to know if a guy is interested in dating outside his race? Look for Gemini or Sagittarius placements in his big 6.

Saw a post that said people with venus in 2h/scorpio are usually the "other woman" or involved with people who are involved with others but get "chosen" in the end....

y'all really get on here and say ANYTHING. As a person with these placements, the most important things to me within a relationship are loyalty, attraction and stability. Can't get that out of a partner who is already in a committed relationship...

Having pretty privilege ≠ being a pick me (this ones for my girlies with prominent libra placements)

Every femme only wants to talk about how "seductive" and "sexy" it is to have prominent Lilith placements. We don't discuss enough how awful it is for your social life esp in relation to other women. In my experience as someone with Lilith in 1H, women either have weird jealous/envious energy towards me or they want me romantically/sexually. It sucks ngl.

Going back to women/femmes with prominent Libra placements/influence in their chart, I'm seeing a lot of bullshit about how they are within romantic relationships and in the dating world. This belief of them being "the other woman" is bullshit. They are not out to get your loser boyfriend. (This is from experience, I've had guys breakup with their gfs just to try to talk to me, ew.)

I think its a good thing air dominant people are so detached. The jealousy/envy/obsession they attract needs to be studied. Work on protecting yourselves from evil eye.

Stop infantilizing cap moons please. Their biggest enemy are themselves for their unwillingness to be emotional or express emotion. You cannot establish healthy relationships with others and be emotion-phobic at the same time. Esp if you're a grown ass adult, you need to work on your emotional maturity and stop using your upbringing as an excuse to continue emotionally abusive and neglectful cycles.

Speaking of caps, Saturn ruled people (aquarius and capricorn dominant people) need to understand and accept that they are here to do incredible things. The more you try to assimilate to what everyone else is doing, the more you try to blend in the more Saturn is gonna beat your ass. Go big or go home bitch.

I noticed people who have issues with their emotional wellbeing (either too sensitive or emotionally inept) have their moon in a sign that is generally incompatible with their sun sign. (For ex. Aries sun with a Capricorn moon). Gotta work extra hard to learn and understand who you are emotionally.

Anyways that's all... for now.

[3rddimension]

i absolutely don't want to get my hopes up (especially bc i feel like C & S are so professional they never mention their relationship at work, even off-camera) but it DOES look like C says "i'm getting married" in the newest smosh video............. i've been trying to see what else she could say like something related to a music video or directing but i can't think of anything that fits the way her mouth moves like the married phrase does I'M GOING INSANE lmao

Been waiting for the ask box to fill up with all the theory and this seems to be the most one that people agreed! I also think it's the same as well with the way she's pausing between bleep and the mouth movement. The yelling is probably something like "I'M GETTING FUCKING MARRIED" or something along that line.

TBH I'm feeling like they're just gonna get married and then blatantly post the picture on their socials with no explanation and then never mention it again ever. LMFAO It's probably for the best but that would be an epic way to announce it for sure.

[cowboylor]

meet cute

you need an emergency boyfriend and ross happens to fit the role.

warnings: language, creepy men? in uncomfortable situations?, implied alcohol consumption, fake dating blurb yay

wc: 1.5k

note: this was just for giggles but i'm gonna post it. cheers! :)

Your life mantra is not to wish ill will on anyone but—

“Bet you we could set up your crypto account tonight. Hell, even chicks like you need to get in on this.”

Fuck this guy. Absolutely fuck him.

You're trying to be positive; trying to look for any part of him that you think you can stomach. But you hate his hairstyle and the way the gel clings to it like a different entity. And you don't like his voice when he talks over you. Or the trickles of spit that spew out of his mouth when cutting you off.

Worst of all, the more time you spend listening and narrowing your eyes the more trapped you feel.

It wasn't exactly your friend's fault for finding someone exciting and she had to make a swift exit with them through the back door. In any other setting, you'd commend, even applaud her for getting laid but now—

Todd is here. Or Tim.

You're barely tipsy but can't recall his name for the life of you. But he doesn't seem to mind; talking your ear off about his bitcoin investments and how his independent company is finally taking off after years in practice.

You bring your glass to your lips, muttering sardonically, “Even chicks like me?”

He grins. “Certainly.”

Fighting off a snort, you set your drink on the bar top. You busy yourself with anything to avoid more small talk; checking the time on your phone, scrolling through old emails, and even jotting down a few miscellaneous items for your grocery list.

When have Friday nights become this cruel to you?

“Then, how ‘bout it?”

You perk up. “Sorry?”

He stands by your side with a toothy grin and an eyebrow raised that makes your stomach churn.

You avoid his eye again out of habit, laughing uncomfortably as he steps closer to you to press his shoulder to yours.

“Us taking this somewhere else.”

You blink.

The word 'no' threatens to spill out of your lips, along with 'eat shit' and 'not in this economy' but alas—you're silent and shifting your eyes uncomfortably again because you are not too sure any of those options would deter him anyway.

He barks a laugh and your face warms.

“I need to make a call.” You end up saying before quickly retreating to the other side of the bar.

He lets you go with a raised glass and smirk.

You wander over to the corner. You try calling your friend once before the voicemail comes and you're cursing lowly. Glancing up at the exit sign, you weigh your options quickly before looking back across the room.

You watch as Todd, or Tim, picks up his draped coat from the bar top and tops off his drink with one last swig.

Shit.

Your eyes skirt over rows of people. Past the obvious bachelorette party that you could realistically get lost in and get a shot of tequila out of it. Past the pretty bartender with a sleeve of tattoos, and past the middle-aged man who sports a green cardigan over his button-up.

The door of the bar opens and you're walking over before you can think twice.

“Babe!” You jeer loudly and then immediately close your mouth.

'Babe' is tall and looks kind, which is already enough to rival Tim (you're ninety percent sure it's Tim). He checks behind himself, craning his neck to see if anyone is behind him because you definitely couldn't be talking to him. He lets out a sound of surprise when you clash into him, wrapping your arms around his middle as you awkwardly embrace.

“Can I ask a favor?” You say in a hushed voice, peering up at him through your hug.

“Uh,” He opens and reopens his mouth before landing on a simple, “Sure?”

“Need you to be my fake boyfriend,” You say, resisting the urge to roll your shoulders in disgust at the way it sounds. You glance over to Tim. “Please?”

He follows your line of sight, before immediately wrapping an arm around you.

“Been looking for you!” You gush loudly.

“I'm here now,” He assures, letting you grip his shoulders like you're taken with him.

And partly, you are. With your face buried into the front of his coat, you can't help but notice how good he smells. Woodsy is the word you land on before he's tapping his index finger against your lower back until you whip around to face Tim's furrowed brow.

“Oh,” You breathe out.

You shift, detangling limbs from your fake boyfriend's body to lean into his side instead. Awkwardly, he rests his arm around your waist.

“This is my friend,” You say to him before your eyes flit back to Tim.

He nods before extending his hand. “Ross.”

Good to know. Really good to know.

You watch as Tim undecidedly takes his hand before roughly shaking it. Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you open your mouth to explain an early exit.

Tim interrupts, “Are you two–”

“Yes!” You both say.

Tim’s gaze hardens. “Oh.”

He looks indecisive; as if debating whether or not he wants to say something more that could possibly get him into trouble. He would if Ross wasn't here—or if Ross happened to be a foot shorter. Yet, Tim just purses his lips and nods.

“We would love to stay...” You trail off before glancing up at Ross.

He catches your look. “But we have plans.”

You nod enthusiastically.

Romantic ones, you want to quip to really drive it home. You settle for a hand on his chest to get your point across.

“Right,” Tim says, eyeing you directly. It looks like he finally gained enough courage because he takes another step closer to you. “So no–”

“Have a good one, mate.” Ross interrupts, stepping in front of you.

You're only able to exhale when he retreats to the other end of the bar. Then, you're reactively stepping away from Ross and his gaze is falling to the hand that held you by the waist.

“Thank you,” You say like you're out of breath. He looks up at you with a smile that would put any other person at ease, but for you, it has you screwing your eyes shut in embarrassment. “And I'm so sorry."

He laughs. “For what?”

“I'm sure you didn't expect to be terrorized when you were just coming here for a drink,” You explain in rush, your words running together in an effort to get them out all at once. “I got ditched and trapped and none of that was going great—”

You know you sound like a case, but Ross listens to you go on until you’re sighing and looking at him apologetically again.

“I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” He frowns when you say it again. He hesitates before adding, “I’m just glad I didn't get throttled by anyone.”

You blankly stare, eyes running up his stature. “You would’ve been fine.”

His eyes light up.

“Saying I could’ve taken him?” He teases.

You laugh quietly. “You’d have a fighting chance.”

There's a brief pause of silence between the two of you that has you thinking this is where it ends. Before Ross ends up bidding you a quick goodbye and making his way to his group of friends or painfully informing you that his non-fake girlfriend is waiting for him at the other end of the bar top. You're prepared to apologize again, the "s" word is on the tip of your tongue—

“What’s my girlfriend's name?”

Your mind stutters momentarily, and you look at him in surprise. He's peering down at you and you realize your assumption that he looked kind was completely accurate. His eyes fucking radiate it.

You give him your name and hand sheepishly.

“Can I walk you to your car?” He asks after, still holding your hand. Then he nods to the bar, “Or buy you a drink?”

You chuckle shyly. “Shouldn’t I buy you a drink for what I put you through?”

“If you’d like,” He shrugs. “If that gets you to stay.”

You spare a look away from Ross to survey the bar. You can't see him anywhere but your eyes still skirt over every bar seat just to make sure.

“I'll hold your hand the whole time,” He adds lightheartedly, following your eyes as you glance around the room. Then he quips a quiet, "Don't think he'd try anything anyway."

“Boyfriend of the year,” You muse at him with a smile.

You swear tints red at this but you don't linger on it too long, letting his hand brush yours as guides you back to the bar. He ducks his head down, murmuring something along the lines: “Would be a pretty shitty one if I didn't.”